There’s a version of motherhood many of us grow up imagining.
The family home with the backyard.
The dog.
The same school from Prep to Year 6.
Weekend sport.
Routine.
Stability.
Predictability.
And for a long time, I thought that was exactly what being a “good parent” looked like too. And being someone who came from a less than "ideal" childhood I imagined that narative was what childhood should look like.
But a few years ago, my husband and I made a decision that completely changed the trajectory of our lives. We sold almost everything we owned on the Sunshine Coast, packed up our two little kids and moved to Bali while building our business, Lokal Folk.
On paper, it sounds exciting. Adventurous...and parts of it absolutely are.
But what people don’t always talk about is the emotional weight that can come with choosing a life that sits outside the 'traditional parenting blueprint'.
Because even when a decision feels deeply right for your family, there can still be guilt.
The Guilt of Raising Kids Differently
As parents, we are constantly absorbing messages about what we should be doing.
Where we should live.
How much routine our children should have.
What stability is supposed to look like.
What “successful parenting” should feel like.
So when you intentionally choose something different, there can be this quiet voice that creeps in:
“Am I doing the wrong thing by my kids?”
We wrestle with that often.
Especially when we go back home to Australia and see our friends building beautiful homes, working hard, paying mortgages, creating the kind of life society tells us is the “right” one.
Sometimes our son talks about Australia and says he misses home. And honestly? That is hard to hear.
There are moments where we wonder:
Are we being selfish?
Would they be happier living a more conventional childhood?
We’ve also had comments from people saying things like:
“I could never do that to my kids.”
Or assumptions that because we live overseas, our children somehow have less stability, less structure or less opportunity.
But the truth is — there are many different ways to build a meaningful childhood.
Raising Kids Overseas Isn’t Perfect — But Neither Is Any Other Path
Living in Bali with kids isn’t a permanent holiday.
It’s real life.
There are hard days. Lonely days. Days where we miss family deeply.
Days where we question ourselves.
But there are also moments I know our children will carry forever. They are growing up surrounded by different cultures, languages and ways of living. They are learning adaptability, resilience and curiosity in real time. They’re learning that discomfort isn’t something to fear. That the world is big. That people live differently.
That there is beauty in that.
And maybe most importantly — they’re learning that there isn’t only one way to build a happy life.
This Isn’t About Traditional School vs Homeschooling
Our children attend an international school here in Bali, and this conversation isn’t about one style of education being “better” than another.
It’s also not really about Bali specifically.
It’s about something much bigger:
Giving parents permission to stay curious about life after kids.
Because somewhere along the way, many of us absorb the idea that once we become parents, our own dreams, risk-taking, adventure and individuality should quietly shrink in favour of doing what feels safest.
And while safety matters, so does fulfilment.
So does presence.
So does creating a life that genuinely aligns with your family values — even if it looks different to someone else’s.
Maybe There Is No “Right” Way
The older I get, the more I realise motherhood is filled with nuance.
You can deeply love your children and still question your choices.
You can create an unconventional life and still crave home sometimes.
You can feel grateful and guilty simultaneously.
Two things can exist at once.
Maybe the goal isn’t raising children inside the “perfect” childhood.
Maybe the goal is raising kind, adaptable, emotionally safe humans while also allowing ourselves to live fully too.
And maybe.. just maybe, there’s room for more than one version of a beautiful family life.
Questions About Raising Kids Overseas
Is it hard raising kids overseas?
Yes, raising children overseas comes with emotional challenges like missing family, adjusting to cultural differences, and questioning parenting choices. But many families also find it deeply rewarding and enriching for their children.
Can children benefit from living abroad?
Living abroad can help children develop adaptability, resilience, cultural awareness, independence, and emotional flexibility.
What is unconventional parenting?
Unconventional parenting refers to raising children outside traditional societal expectations, such as worldschooling, living abroad, homeschooling, or pursuing alternative family lifestyles.
Does stability always mean staying in one place?
Not necessarily. Emotional safety, strong relationships, routine, and parental presence can also create stability for children — even in non-traditional lifestyles.
How do parents handle guilt about raising kids differently?
Many parents experience guilt when making unconventional choices. Open communication, connection, and aligning decisions with family values can help navigate those feelings.
